Mamaa…

My mamaa has been my greatest support system. She’s been there through thick and thin. Even when I was sure I was not my daddy’s favourite she gave me all that I needed and me not being daddy’s girl didn’t matter at all. She gave me life when things seemed dead. She definitely was my all.

So this day as I was going through my mummy’s phone she receives a text and me being nosey I decide to read it. It’s a love message, not from my dad. That really pricks my heart. I thought so hard who could that be, I was really disturbed. I decided I am not going to ask her anything until I do my own investigation. I think I should get a job as a DCI😆😆

I couldn’t keep this to myself, I decided to tell my older sister. So we all agree we’re gonna do the investigation then expose mum. That was really a bad move and I regret every bit of it. So I paid off some guys to give me the info I wanted which I got it,and so they were supposed to expose mum. It was on a Thursday morning and we were headed to work with dad, then there was a phone call which I really didn’t get what they talked about and here we were going back home at a very high speed with my dad sooo angry, I didn’t understand what was happening.

On arrival at mum’s place of work,which is near our home, my dad alights the car with a whip and he goes to where mum is and starts to beat her mercilessly shouting at her that she’s a hoe. Those words have never left me since then, only to realise the guys I assigned did their work and had already exposed mum and now my mum is facing daddy’s wrath. It was so ugly😒😒😒. Nothing could make it look right.

After the fight we had to have the meeting of confrontation and mummy accepts that she truly had an affair with that 18year boy. It sounded so baaad. Dad was so mad and decided to throw her out of our house. And just like that I lost a mother and our family was broken.

After a while I realised I needed my mum around but it was too late. My dad doesn’t love me and I’m not that much of a good girl so definitely, i’m always in trouble and I honestly have no one to take my side not even my big sister since she’s married and doesn’t live with us either. I want my mum so baaad. I was wrong 😭😭. I didn’t give my mum a second chance. I didn’t talk to her first before going out there to announce. I always wish I talked to her maybe she would have told me the reason she did that or even she would have stopped.

I want my mum so baaad. I can’t bare the pain and guilt of knowing that I am the reason she’s not with us, she’s not dead but I can’t see her. When everyone else is celebrating their mother on a mother’s Day I have absolutely no one to celebrate because I pushed my mum away when I could have helped. And I want to shout and tell her I’m sorry. My pillows are always soaked in tears. I am not daddy’s favourite I pushed away my favorite😒😒 it hurts. I can’t bare it. I want my mum. Mummy, I am very sorry. I know sorry can’t heal anything but I am sorry, I betrayed you when I knew I always had you. I wish I could turn back time. I know you were wrong but you needed another chance which I blew it.

I remember when I got pregnant while in school when everyone else including dad disowned me, you stood by me and even took me back to school after delivery. Mommy I’m honestly sorry. I want to celebrate you. Please come back to us. I am really sorry